March 20, 2006

1.3 - Curtain Call

Rain batters the cobbles ruthlessly and lightening strikes as a panicked Ken cries out into the storm for help. Mike has collapsed and is having severe difficulty staying conscious. Sprawled awkwardly across the factory steps, Ken sits down and tries to make him more comfortable. 'HELP! SOMEBODY, PLEASE!'

But his words are lost to the wind and the rain, and suddenly Ken is faced with a decision: leave Mike alone in the storm to call for help or wait with him and watch things get worse? Time is ticking fast, and as he looks down to Mike, he realises it is running out too...

Over at the Peacocks, Claire is screaming now... 'Help me, please! Call an ambulance!'

'I can't,' blurts Matt. 'Your phone... I'm sorry!' He slaps his pockets in the vain hope he remembered his mobile. 'I'll get help!'

He dashes to the door and opens it, a flurry of rain spitting through. But Claire needs someone now... 'Help me!' she cries hysterically. 'Do something... please!'

An expression of extreme guilt passes over Matt's face. 'I'm sorry... I-'

'Matt! Please!' says Claire, tearful and in agony.

Then Matt comes to a realisation. 'Yeah - okay, sorry, yes... fine. I'm a doctor, you know... I can help...'

And he bends down, realising he must help the wife of his enemy to deliver their baby, realising that this will cause more trouble than anything else, realising that he is going to be a part of yet another of Ashley Peacock's children's lives...

Charlie and Jason stumble out of their club and into the streets. 'That was a laugh wasn't it?' laughs Charlie.

'Yeah,' Jason replies. 'Y'know what? I'm over Violet now... I think - I think I'm over her...'

'Glad to hear it mate,' says Charlie, slapping Jason on the back. 'Now let's call a cab and get out of this bloody rain...'

They head for the taxi firm across the street.

Rita and Emily are still scouring the streets for signs of Mike. 'It's hopeless!' cries Emily. 'Oh, Rita, imagine what this could mean!'

'It'll be fine!' Rita cries optimistically over the wind, though the doubt in her voice cannot be hidden. They are back on Coronation Street now...

'Who's that? Over there!' Emily shouts, pointing. 'It's Ken... and Mike!'

'Oh my...'

'RITA, EMILY!' Ken roars, and he's wearing nothing but his shirt now after wrapping his jacket around Mike, who had previously been wearing only pyjamas and slippers. 'CALL FOR HELP, NOW!'

Emily and Rita rush into Emily's house to call an ambulance, and Ken's eyes fill with tears. 'Mike,' he says, in an almost commanding fashion, as though begging him to stay awake, 'talk to me...'

Mike's eyes look like he's just been born, just arrived in the world and is staring at its beauty, what he can see before him... the deep, dark blues and greys in the sky, the crescent moon half-concealed by a chimney. 'It's beautiful, you know,' he whispers hoarsely, though he can't quite smile. 'It's so beautiful...'

The rain pounds down...

A cab pulls up in Coronation Street and Eileen steps out, paying the driver. 'Thanks love,' she says. The cab disappears off into the night and Eileen notices Ken cradling Mike in his arms.

'Ken?' she calls, heading over.

'Eileen, you need to get us help! Get Jason, or something, I can't move him on my own...'

'Why... what, what's happening?' she says, but she doesn't wait for the answer. She sprints to her house and opens the door, darting through, calling her son's name. 'Jason? JASON? Where are you?'

'Steady on!' says Sean, noting her panic. 'What's happened?'

'It's Mike... Ken... they're in the Street, Mike needs help, quickly... call an ambulance or something! Where's Jason?'

'I don't know, Eileen!' says Sean, picking up the phone and dialling 999. 'Yes, ambulance please... Coronation Street... come quickly! I don't know...' Sean covers the mouthpiece and whispers, 'what's happened?'

'He's collapsed!' Eileen cries.

'He's collapsed,' repeats Sean. 'Mike... Mike Baldwin... just stop asking questions and hurry up will you?'

And with that Sean replaces the receiver looking worried, before focussing on Eileen. 'This is a really bad time I know, but...'

'We don't have time for that, Sean, Mike's out there and so's Ken - we've got the help them!'

'Eileen!' Sean cries, before looking her in the eye. 'Todd's back...'

Back in the street, people are gathering outside in the rain... Deirdre opens her door and steps into the street. 'Ken? KEN!' And she rushes forwards to the scene on the factory steps...

'Mike, Mike... it's Deirdre, do you remember Deirdre?'

Mike tries to look up but can't quite do it, so Deirdre comes forwards. 'Mike?' she cries, tears already in full flow.

'Alma?' he says, looking up.

'No, it's Deirdre, I'm Ken, remember...' Ken says, eyes twinkling.

Mike smiles, though only briefly. 'Course I do,' he says, his eyelids fluttering.

'When is someone going to help us?' Ken cries, but then he can hear the sirens... they're wailing, ringing through the air, cutting through the rain, overpowering the thunder...

In the Peacock house, Matt's roaring, 'PUSH! PUSH!'

And Claire's pushing, she's in tears, crying, the pain... it won't stop...

'ONE LAST PUSH, ONE LAST PUSH CLAIRE!'

With a loud scream, Claire pushes once more... and then there's noise... a baby's cries...

While out in the Street, Mike's fading.

'Hold on, Mike, hold on...!' Deirdre cries, reaching for Mike's hand and squeezing it tight...

The Rovers is opening now, people are coming outside...

Ken's clutching Mike with tears in his eyes. 'Hold on...'

But Mike can't do it... and with one last weak look to Deirdre, then to Ken, his eyes slowly close and he stops shivering... all movement gone now...

'Nnoo,' Deirdre sniffs, collapsing onto Mike's chest. Ken can't stop himself now, as he looks up into the night's sky, it's emptiness, tears pouring uncontrollably...

Matt cuts the umbilical cord with scissors and hands Claire her baby... 'It's a girl, Claire!' he cries. 'You've got a wonderful baby girl!'

And Claire's in tears now too, she's crying tears of joy, overcome by the coming of new life... she cradles her baby, and it's the most important thing in the world, the most precious thing...

While out in the Street, an ambulance stops at the scene, but it's far too late... and as the ambulance's blue light bursts onto every wall, every surface, every face who stands to watch, as the rain continues to beat down, everybody knows life will never be the same...

11 Reviews:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH! MY! GOD! That is amazing! Truly amazing. Definitely your best work to date, and so..so beautifully written, I'm still in shock. I absolutely love the way you still managed to intertwine these sub-plots whilst this big event is happening in the street, so well done with that. But of course, the best thing you did was bringing one life into the world, whilst another faded away. I could just see that on screen and how well that would work. Well done!

You should definitely write up some original scripts and send them off to Granada. Don't send these as they've already been seen, write some new scripts and seriously send them off to Granada, you never know what the outcome could be. I'm looking forward to the next installment. You should be proud! And breathe...

5:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great stuff, maxi! Very moving, you have interweaved all the stories and yet kept up the suspense.

Very well done.
from evegrahame

6:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I left a comment on DS as well. That was great, so well written, I'm really enjoying it, thank you.
Primrosegirl

6:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really well done, .maxi. Very impressive.

Loved how you used nature's most precious resource and weaved it through some very different kinds of nature: human nature. We had tears of joy and pain, whilst the earth's own 'tears' rained down, blending with people's emotions and heightening their power.

A lot of time was devoted to the Mike thread, but that is how it should be when you are at the climax to a major plot and when a long-standing and important character reaches the end of his time on t'street.

That episode had a very 'small world' feel to it - great stuff.

The way you have structured the text is not strictly standard, but that doesn't matter, as you've chosen a writing style that has an effective simplicity to it and provides an atmosphere to the text that brings out the life in your story.

And oooohhhhhweeeeoohhhhhh......

Ken's clutching Mike with tears in his eyes. 'Hold on...'

But Mike can't do it... and with one last weak look to Deirdre, then to Mike, his eyes slowly close and he stops shivering... all movement gone now...


So, Mike looks over at ...*gulp*....himself!!!!!!! Arrgghh....

6:55 pm  
Blogger James said...

Thanks very much for the comments guys. tkthinker, thanks for pointing out that stupid mistake, it has been edited now! V. embarassing

7:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg, that was amazing, i had tears in my eyes when it ended! so powerful! you should be a corrie scriptwriter...

WHEN IS THE NEXT ONE!?!?

7:27 pm  
Blogger James said...

Hi, xx ellie xx.

Episode 1.04 - "A New Dawn" will be up on March 22. Glad you enjoyed it.

7:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey it's elizabeth from soapboards, just commenting to say how much i love your fic, its beautifully written and i'm a huge fan xxxxxxx liz xxxxxxx

7:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great episode - i love the way all of the storylines work together, and it was so sad

I'll leave on on DS as well

8:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the most beautfiul piece of fan fiction writing i've ever read. unbelievable! <333

9:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey man that was amazing. i was stunned!

6:44 pm  

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